went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
