I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
