I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
