Capitaan dildo arrescate!
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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