weddingsv make me drug and hornr
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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