what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
