we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
