i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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