Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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