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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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