Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
