Its about making memories worth repressing
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
