Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
