Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
