She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
