My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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