dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
