Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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