you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
