i don't like sucking hair
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
