needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
