im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
