Got a toothbrush?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
