No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
