Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
