I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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