dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
