He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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