Well apparently he's into motor boating.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize