Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I need moral support for this bender
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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