He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
