super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
