the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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