so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
