I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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