if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
