Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
