Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
