That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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