Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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