Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
