I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
