I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
