2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You're like the curious george of whores
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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