Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
