don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Randomize
