Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
