just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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