I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
i believe in u and ur pee
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
