there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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