I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
